Porn as meditation

In which I blast my blog into the outer reaches of cyberspace. Well, we’ll see. There is no intention to court controversy, but, as always, there are some things I just have to say.

Google these two words – porn and meditation – together, and what you’ll get is mostly links to pseudo-oriental “treatments” for (so-called) “porn addiction”. Although many people enjoy (so-called) porn, and sex-positive activists have generally embraced its production and consumption, at least within certain limits/genres, it seems that it has yet to make its way into the mainstream, or even any sidestream, of new spirituality. Though I can think of one exception, which almost proves the rule (but is not new, however): the prescribed meditations on union with the dakini in Tibetan Tantric (Vajrayana) Buddhism, known as the six yogas of Naropa, and, in the Shangpa Kagyu school, the “Five Golden Doctrines”.

This type of tradition also explains a certain willingness to use actual and stylized images of the yoni in contemporary Western tantric practice, of which the mandala is the ultimate disguise. Acceptance of naive portrayal of union as an aid to meditation also underlies the sacred art of Khajuraho and other central Indian tantric complexes, which predate the more abstract techniques adopted as tantra sought social acceptability and/or went underground.

Before reading further, have a look at some things the modern tantric teachers Osho and Barry Long have had to say on the matter. And they are not wrong, they are much more right than they are wrong, but in my view their characterizations are very, very crude and show evident cultural bias.

Let us start with some profound truths from the text known as Hevajra Tantra. As my readers will understand, I have no concept of sacred texts and do not seek to expound anything, but when something is well said, it is well said. And these sentences epitomize for me as much the essence of tantra as the essence of effective therapy and personal growth (thank you to this source):

• One must rise by that by which one falls
• By whatever thing the world is bound, by that the bond is unfastened
• Beings are bound by passion and are released by utilising passion

Take a moment to meditate those truths and their profound implications, which are far broader, but also encompass, the present subject matter.

Now if one rises by that by which one falls, no moral characterization of it is appropriate.

I do not mean by this to say that the process of production of certain forms of pornography may not be regrettable, nor that it may not depict forms of sexual interaction ranging from the simply inane to the utterly disgusting, nor even that society should be neutral in regard to it, though I certainly think a number of distinctions would be helpful.

I simply mean that it shows us something of ourselves, and if we recoil from it, it is because we recoil from that aspect of ourselves. Otherwise, they are mere images, still or moving; they may have been created or come into our possession by means which I would regret or disapprove of, but now they are before us, they are just a mirror. If we have sought these images, they have the power to teach us something. And not just teach, but also, perhaps, entertain, which amounts to the same thing.

Feminist critique*, patriarchy and sexual shame have polluted the discussion of pornography to such a point that it is almost impossible to understand why it remains so universally sought after – indeed more and more sought after – or to perceive the motives of such desire other than disapprovingly. A chasm remains in our minds and decidedly prevents us from becoming whole.

And I do agree that the voracity of such quest is driven overwhelmingly by the frustration of actual sexual desire, that the nature of the images sought after reveals much more than just pure lust or esthetic considerations and goes to the heart of our violent conditioning, that the association of porn with masturbation (an association I have myself largely outgrown) presupposes an objectified scripting of sexuality, and that one should seek to penetrate to the core of ones behavior, without shame, but in a spirit of true inquiry.

Having said all this, it should be recalled and emphasized, however, that the repression of actual sexual desire is not a Good Thing, and finding some form of outlet for it is also not a Bad Thing, per se, and in any case is economically inevitable.

Erotica also portrays, however distortedly on occasion, a lot of things that should be happening in the real world, that would be happening if we were more natural beings, but unfortunately are not. That such things not even happen in an imaginary world, where we can engage in them vicariously, would not be a step forward.

Deriving pleasure and excitement from observing such scenes is not perverse. We would derive as much or, probably, considerably more pleasure from observing them in reality. That we feel ourselves into the emotions and sensations of the protagonists is not proof of some inability to engage ourselves into authentic sexual experience. It is, in fact, a direct consequence of how our mirror neuron system works. That is why a heartful or, at least, authentically lustful, experience of group sexual activity is, frankly, so hot; and why we can enjoy, in such contexts, not only the experience of the participants of the opposite sex but also the experience of those of our own.

The bottom line is, as I now understand from reading this book, that vicarious experience and direct experience are much harder to distinguish than we realize.

If you are struggling with pornography, you are struggling with yourself. The struggle with ourselves is not easy, so get the help you need. But the solution is always, ultimately, to cease that struggle. Like anything else, we can ease ourselves into the forbidden, disarming it, dissolving the derived drive into the two dimensions which compose and determine it – the underlying drive and the obstacle to its expression. Bringing awareness will bring freedom, not freedom-from (pornography) but freedom-to (love). The only question really is, whether you can bring that awareness. If you cannot, it is the wrong meditation for you. It may just go on digging an ever deeper rut into your subconscious. But if you can, and if you can abandon all preconceived ideas as to how you should feel and allow yourself to perceive how you do feel, the meditation is good. It is just one of the meditations that life offers us on our journey – as beautiful and as liberating as all the others. And indeed more liberating if, as is likely, these are the ropes by which you are bound.

By whatever thing the world is bound, by that the bond is unfastened.

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NOTES

* With, happily, increasingly many exceptions, such as here